Tim Atkin | Master of Wine

Contributors

Ron Washam

Ron Washam

At a tender age, Ron turned away from a career as a comedy writer to become a sommelier. One could say he prefers spitting to gagging. He served nineteen years as a sommelier in Los Angeles, and was twice named Sommelier of the Year by the California Restaurant Writers Association, primarily because he was unbeatable in the swimsuit competition. He also serves as a professional wine judge in many formerly prestigious competitions. He is one of only one HoseMaster of Wine in the world and writes a monthly satirical column for timatkin.com

 

All posts by Ron Washam below

5th Nov 2014 in Articles

How to become a successful wine writer

I am often asked what it takes to become a successful wine writer, which is like asking Harold Pinter how to become a successful song writer. He’s dead, you idiot. As it turns out, however, I actually do know what it takes to become a wine... Read more

 

6th Oct 2014 in Articles

Anosmia Dogs and other failed Master of Wine dissertations

One of the requirements for becoming a Master of Wine is an original and rigorous research paper of between 6,000 and 10,000 words. The words must be placed in sentences, or it doesn’t count. There is no similar requirement for becoming a... Read more

 

1st Sep 2014 in Articles

How to become a successful sommelier

Having the letters MS after your name doesn’t mean you’re a sommelier. A sommelier works in a restaurant. From the several dozen I’ve met, judging by their occupations, I was pretty sure MS stood for Master Shill. I, also, have letters... Read more

 

4th Aug 2014 in Articles

The Confessions of Dr Conti

OK, I made a deal with Mr. Koch to tell everything I know about wine fraud. You know, I think it’s going to feel good to get all this off my chest, finally to tell the truth. I’ve been thinking about it a lot in my prison cell, and I’m... Read more

 

7th Jul 2014 in Articles

Call me Jancis

Call me Jancis. Everyone does, even though it’s not my name. Well, it is when I’m conducting a wine seminar, or giving a speech at some God-forsaken outpost of weird wine that wants to pretend its wines are worthwhile, like the Jura. Many... Read more

 

2nd Jun 2014 in Articles

Natural opinions - unfiltered and slightly fecal

A couple of weeks ago, Jamie Goode published an article on his blog, WineAnorexic (“Tragically... Read more

 

5th May 2014 in Articles

Wine's Forbidden Love

I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this confession. And, to be perfectly honest, I know that after reading it, you’re going to think differently about me, think much less of me, for the most part. But I’m tired of hiding who I am,... Read more

 

7th Apr 2014 in Articles

How to choose a white wine: a beginner's guide

Choosing a white wine can be summed up in a single word: Don’t. People will tell you that white wine is every bit as interesting as red wine. These are the same people who will tell you cats are every bit as good as dogs as pets. These are... Read more

 

4th Mar 2014 in Articles

Commander of Wine

It was a stupendous amount of work. I knew that going into it, but, still, it was overwhelming. I persevered, spent countless hours studying and memorizing, and I’m proud to announce that it all paid off. I’m a humble person by nature. You... Read more

 

3rd Feb 2014 in Articles

The Golden Age of Tedious Wine Writing

People have been writing about wine for as long as there has been wine, and nearly as poorly as they write about it today. It’s humbling to be part of a long and storied tradition of making the world’s most fascinating beverage unbearably... Read more