Tim Atkin | Master of Wine

Contributors

Ron Washam

Ron Washam

At a tender age, Ron turned away from a career as a comedy writer to become a sommelier. One could say he prefers spitting to gagging. He served nineteen years as a sommelier in Los Angeles, and was twice named Sommelier of the Year by the California Restaurant Writers Association, primarily because he was unbeatable in the swimsuit competition. He also serves as a professional wine judge in many formerly prestigious competitions. He is one of only one HoseMaster of Wine in the world and writes a monthly satirical column for timatkin.com

 

All posts by Ron Washam below

7th Sep 2015 in Articles

The Wine Time Capsule from 2015

I’m not sure what motivated my ancestor to bury a wine time capsule back in 2015, but I felt that after two hundred years it was time to dig it up. In preparation, I’d been reading up on the history of wine in the 49th Edition of “The World... Read more

 

3rd Aug 2015 in Articles

Riedel me this

In this piece, US-based wine writer Ron Washam pokes fun at Riedel, the wine glass company, a brand that I respect and use personally. This is a piece of satire. No offence is meant to be caused either to Georg Riedel or to his business.... Read more

 

6th Jul 2015 in Articles

A letter from the Publisher of Le Pan Magazine

HelloLe Pan is the only wine magazine that answers the questions to which real wine connoisseurs need answers. Is my private jet a good place to store my First Growths? How does... Read more

 

1st Jun 2015 in Articles

Jefford on Mundane: Palate and Column Fatigue

How do you maintain your nose? Your tongue is your most important tool, but whose box do you keep it in? How often do you need a liver transplant? And where do you keep the young migrants from whom you harvest your organs? How do you get orange... Read more

 

4th May 2015 in Articles

Bordeaux 2014 - my methodology

Before the unveiling of my anxiously anticipated scores for 2014 Bordeaux (many of which fall between 90 and 98 points, and have pretty much been randomly assigned), I thought it might be appropriate to outline my methodology. The real question... Read more

 

6th Apr 2015 in Articles

The five essential wine words

Most people are uncomfortable talking about wine. They think they lack the vocabulary to speak about it and, therefore, they sound stupid. They are correct. There is no subject that has people sounding so incredibly ignorant as often as wine,... Read more

 

2nd Mar 2015 in Articles

Ask Dr. Pinny! The Simpleton's Guide to Wine

Wine might be the most difficult beverage on Earth to enjoy properly. Coffee is easy. No matter what coffee “experts” tell you, coffee is all the same. It’s roasted beans, for God’s sake. Powder it and run hot water through it, and,... Read more

 

2nd Feb 2015 in Articles

The six people you want to avoid in the wine business

Everyone has advice for whom you should know in the wine business. Article after article on the subject have appeared in online publications. And each one is self-serving crap, a way to say I already know all these people, I’m basically one of... Read more

 

5th Jan 2015 in Articles

What not to publish on your wine blog in 2015

Shut up about alcohol levels, for Christ’s sake. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And what ABV (Alcohol By Verisimilitude) is it that you’re referring to, the number listed on the label? Moron. Those... Read more

 

1st Dec 2014 in Articles

The adventures of Brett Bung

Given his normal upbringing on the outskirts of a great metropolitan city, no one would have been able to anticipate that humble Brett Bung would one day emerge as the CERTIFIED SPECIALIST OF WINE! By day a low level accountant, an invisible man... Read more