Tim Atkin | Master of Wine

Contributors

Ron Washam

Ron Washam

At a tender age, Ron turned away from a career as a comedy writer to become a sommelier. One could say he prefers spitting to gagging. He served nineteen years as a sommelier in Los Angeles, and was twice named Sommelier of the Year by the California Restaurant Writers Association, primarily because he was unbeatable in the swimsuit competition. He also serves as a professional wine judge in many formerly prestigious competitions. He is one of only one HoseMaster of Wine in the world and writes a monthly satirical column for timatkin.com

 

All posts by Ron Washam below

3rd Apr 2017 in Articles

Crapaholics Anonymous

Hello, my name is Ronald. And I’m a Crapaholic. Hello, Ronald! This is my first time speaking at a Crapaholics Anonymous meeting, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the wines I drink lately. I drink wines I like.... Read more

 

6th Mar 2017 in Articles

How the Russians are secretly destroying the wine business

Solid evidence has been slow in coming, but there is little doubt that over the past decade the Russian government, under the direction of Vladimir Putin, has been tampering with the wine business. The tampering has taken many different forms,... Read more

 

6th Feb 2017 in Articles

FemSomm

Finally, Ladies, a new wine credential that will take the Miss out of wine misogyny. FemSomm! FemSomm is an idea whose time has come. Tired of being 10% of the ManSomm population? Weary of mentors who undress to help you study for the... Read more

 

4th Jan 2017 in Articles

Notes on the 2017 Vintage - Worst Year Ever?

I traveled and tasted widely for this review of the wines of 2017. I think, in general, the vintage can be summed up as miserable. The wise consumer should give ’17 a Pass—“Donner” seems appropriate. This is not unexpected, of course.... Read more

 

4th Dec 2016 in Articles

Ask Sid Heil, Your White Supremacist Sommelier!

As a young boy, Sid Heil decided he wanted to make wine his career. “My Dad taught me that white people had invented wine, and that it was an industry that was still about 99% white. But that was a long time ago, and things have changed. That... Read more

 

7th Nov 2016 in Articles

Tips for enoying natural wines at home

You have finally come to the realization that the only wines worth drinking are Natural Wines, but what’s the best way to enjoy those Natural Wines at home? Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only thing that matters is that the... Read more

 

3rd Oct 2016 in Articles

Larry Anosmia MS, Frontier Sommelier

Episode 1: “By-the-Glass at the O.K. Corral” A famous Tombstone watering hole hires Larry Anosmia MS to increase sales and keep an eye on the Clanton gang. Doc Holliday takes a liking to the new sommelier in town, even switching... Read more

 

6th Sep 2016 in Articles

Love among The Somms

The Somms are a strange people, only recently discovered by Westerners. Little is known about where they originated, though most anthropologists agree that it was very early in the 21st century that most people became aware of them, rather like... Read more

 

1st Aug 2016 in Articles

Donald Trump's World Atlas of Wine

What is it with you people that you want to know what I think about wine all the time? When I became the new Emperor of Wine, and, really, I’m doing a fantastic job, just fantastic, I didn’t know I’d have to spend all my time educating all... Read more

 

5th Jul 2016 in Articles

Trump, Brexit and other endangered grape varieties

Estimates of the number of varieties of Vitis vinifera in cultivation vary widely. In the seminal work, “Wine Grapes,” the grape expert Dr. José Vouillamoz (pronounced “Wham-O”) asserts that the number is “close to a shitload.” (A... Read more